![]() "The son honours his father, the slave stands in awe of his master. According to the prophet Malachi, God makes the analogy himself: In the Talmud, the commandment to honor one's human parents is compared to honoring God. Dishonoring parents by striking or cursing them was punishable by death. In the Torah, keeping this commandment was associated with individual benefit and with the ability of the nation of Israel to remain in the land to which God was leading them. Honour your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land that Yahweh your God is giving you. ![]() The Book of Exodus describes the Ten Commandments as being spoken by God to Moses, inscribed on two stone tablets by the finger of God, or written on tablets by Moses. As in all things, seek God's wisdom (James 1:5) in balancing the need to leave your parents and cleave to your spouse with the call to honor your parents.Honor your father and your mother is one of the Ten Commandments, which are widely understood as moral imperatives by legal scholars, Jewish scholars, Catholic scholars, and Post-Reformation scholars. At the very least, when expectations are made clear, there is less risk of hurt feelings or confusion. ![]() When all parties involved are seeking to honor God, things go much more smoothly. We should discuss these matters with our spouses and our parents as well. We will need God's wisdom to discern what are true needs and what is overbearing, manipulative, or dishonoring. We are to do all of this with respect and in submission to God. If a spouse seeks to violate the call to honor parents, we reject that. If a parent seeks to violate our marriage relationship, we reject that. Each and every human relationship must submit to our relationship with God Himself (Luke 14:26). We are instructed to honor those in authority, but the Bible also gives examples when apostles defied authorities to continue preaching the gospel (Acts 4:1–22). This balance can be compared to another in Scripture, that of obeying those in authority (Romans 13). When both husband and wife are seeking to honor God, even if the circumstance is uncomfortable, it is possible to honor both sets of parents and care for their needs while still keeping the marriage bond primary. We are intended to "leave" the parent-child relationship.Īt the same time, when our parent has a legitimate need, even if our spouse does not like our parent, we are to meet the need (Mark 7:10–13 1 Timothy 5:4–8). We are still respectful toward parents, but we do not allow the parent-child relationship to become primary. When an overbearing parent threatens this bond, appropriate boundaries need to be put in place. There should be, between husband and wife, a growing oneness in every aspect of your life: emotional, intellectual, financial, physical, social, and familial. Understanding what God's Word says about each relationship helps us know how to navigate when there are potential conflicts.Īs has been stated, marriage is a lifelong commitment in which two people become one. At the same time, we still honor our parents.Īt times it can feel like a parent is pulling a child away from a marriage, or like a marriage is restricting a child from honoring and caring for parents. We "leave" our parents and "cleave" to our spouse, thus forming a new family. The husband and wife relationship is primary. In marriage, the two become " one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 Matthew 19:6). ![]() Marriage relationships are intended to be lifelong and to take precedence over our relationship with our parents. At the same time, the Bible instructs us to honor our parents (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1–3) and care for them when they need help (1 Timothy 5:3–8). The Bible tells us that when we marry, we are to leave our parents and cleave to our spouse (Genesis 2:24). How can a Christian 'leave and cleave' and still honor their parents?
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